I just watched a short video called "The Invisible Woman". I cried near the end as it so closely hits home for me. I had read in a book over a year ago how some women (especially an overweight one like myself) feel almost invisible to those around them. Wow. That really touches a nerve with me. I think for a very long time I have felt so invisible. No one REALLY cares if I am around. No one REALLY wants to listen to me talk. Even though my body is so big, my influence is so little, it seems. People don't care about the stories I find funny or cute or serious. No one really knows the "me" I am.
I guess what I long for intensely is intimacy. Sure, I'm married, but I don't mean intimacy of the sexual kind. I long for someone to know me. I don't think Larry could ever tell you what my deepest fear is or my greatest joy. No one could. That's what I long for. Intimacy. I have it with God, yes. But I really want a person-to-person intimate friend. I have it most with Michelle. She's the one I am certainly most real with. Maybe that's what I need to cultivate...the time spent with her to become more open with another human being, not being afraid to really tell what inside this head of mine.
God help me on this journey. I know it'll be for the best even through some pain. :)